Ronald Reagan and a leprechaun (or so he thinks).
It started in 1980 when Reagan was elected. That year the average Stanford-Binet IQ score decreased nationwide for the first time since the test was introduced in 1916. It would never rise again: the dumbing of America had begun. The phenomenon spread to Europe two decades later, then Russia and now India. China is next.
When historians chart the intellectual decline of America, they will say it began in the South, specifically Alabama and Mississippi then moved to Georgia and on to Florida. It was from Florida where the seeds of imbecility spread across the world. Vacationers went to Disney World, walked Daytona’s sandy beaches, or attended the most virulent infestation of idiocy in the country, a Marlin’s baseball game.
In some, stupidity exploded immediately – they bought a time-share in Ocala or invested in Everglades resort properties – but most carried the malaise back to their homes, where over three generations it worked relentless destruction.
I am not Walt Whitman.
How could this be? Darwin’s laws of natural selection promote the strong and eliminate the weak. That process, over ten million years brought us to where we are. Sure, we had our Atilla the Huns and Adolf Hitlers, but still – on the average – we are smarter, live better and much longer than the Homo erectus from whence we came. With bigger brains, our lot improved.
But then came Reagan and the dumb became dumber and increased their number.
Now on one level, the American idiot does follow parts of evolution’s extinction process. The brainless don’t live as long as people of average intelligence. Stupid people do stupid things: They smoke cigarettes and chew tobacco. They drink beer until they can’t see then hop in a car and run into a telephone pole. They ride motorcycles without a helmet. Many have guns and regularly shoot themselves or their families or their friends just messing around. Most could care less about such life extenders like education or health care.
Do not drive or operate heavy machinery after taking.
When the president says drink Clorox, they drink Clorox and die. They try to rub the nose of a sleeping alligator so a friend can snap their picture for Facebook; the next thing you know, the sheriff is slicing into the gator’s belly to pull out the body of the nose scratcher so the coroner can take a picture for his mug file.
This all this adds up to a short lifespan and, theoretically, gradual extinction. Yet the number of stupid people is increasing. WTF?
The answer is that the dumb are enormously fecund. In Louisiana, it is common for five generations of a family to sit down on a Saturday afternoon and watch NASCAR. Babies, mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, great great grandmothers (some also cousins) gathered around the big screen TV while the men folk sit in the basement around an even larger TV drinking beer and passing about each other’s revolvers. The stupid multiply faster than rabbits in their first thirty years, spend the next ten doubling their weight, then start dying. They die young but leave quadruple the offspring that normal people do.
So what happens now? Do the clueless simply take over the world? There is no good ending here. The Corona virus brought a glimmer of hope that the morbidity rate of the stupid would increase. They distain masks, social distancing, and love to congregate in bars and churches. Sadly, the death rate has only increased for those over sixty and by that age, the dolt’s reproduction cycle has completed.
There is a solution albeit an unpleasant one. Average people simply need to fuck more. Yep, fight fire with fire – except the part where you copulate with your cousin, sister, or other close relative. If the normal create more kids, and the dumbs keeping voting for politicians like themselves, natural selection will prevail. We are talking generations. Yet it is a story you can proudly tell your grandchildren and great grandchildren and (if you do it right) great great grandchildren while they all watch baseball together down in the basement.