Allways Always

Nature’s deepest secrets are always there for anyone to see and understand. But you have to look.

Albert Einstein

Third Lecture: On Tensor Differential Principles

Mrs. Baker’s Sixth Grade Science Class, Matawan Primary School

Matawan, NJ

We have never promoted a product on this website. Sure, we have bashed a few – Microsoft, Panera Bread, Kmart (R.I.P), and everything made by Fiat/Chrysler to name a few. Nobody listens (since 2009, Jeep continues to be the best selling SUV in America and also the least reliable, most unsafe vehicle in the world. Go Figure!!), but if you sell junk, we like to write about it. Promotions are another story. This site isn’t here to sell anybody anything. Up until now: we found a revolutionary new design to a common, utilitarian product used by millions of people every da. We had to share it. This isn’t just someone who has made a better mousetrap, this is someone who has rethought the whole mice catching business.

What are we talking about? Glasses. That’s right – the thing that hangs on your nose so you can see what you’re doing. They have been around for century and principle has never changed. Stick two pieces of magnifying glass in front of your eyeballs and voila, you can read a menu and see the car in front of you. How do you majorly change something as simple as that? Well Shimshoo Hunan did – it’s called Allways Glasses and they are the world’s first ever reversible glasses.

Why hasn’t anyone thought about such a thing before? We will answer that question in a bit but first let’s describe how these glasses work. At first glance they look just like ordinary glasses, but once you look closely – you see that one temple part bends one way while the other the is turned opposite. This means you can wear the glasses with the nose pads resting on your nose (the classic glasses look) or flip them over and have the bridge between the two lenses rest on your nose. Because of the ingenious shaping of the two temple pieces, the glasses feel snug and comfortable no matter which way they are put on.

Now why would you want to flip your glasses over and wear them like that? Well, if you wear glasses for any length of time, try it. When you reverse the position of the lenses bridge so that it rests on your nose, there is a miraculous freeing of the nasal canals; your near field of vision opens up and you see things that were only blurred outlines with glasses worn the conventional way.

ALLWAYS RIGHT!

People who wear bifocals will love Allways Glasses. When you work on a computer, read a books or review memos at your desk, you are holding your head at an unnatural angle so your eyes align to a bifocal’s reading lenses. The muscles in your neck, jaw and eye sockets are stretched and bent. Over time this increase fatigue, and in some people, leads to headaches or bruxism. Flip your glasses over and try it. Now you are working on your computer with you head up, pointed straight ahead – no neck strain or tired eyes from continuously looking down. Older business men and sports fans who enjoy a few drinks at the downtown strip club every week will love them. Ever offer a dancer five bucks to have her flap her buttocks two inches from you nose and you can see those little tattooed messages running down her ass crack but you can’t read them because your looking up and your eyes are directed to the bifocal’s distance lenses? With Allways, you just flip those glasses around and every detail of the lady’s body snaps into focus including all the clever tattoos.

Who would have thought such a simple design could so profoundly change the way you see things? It’s much like cracking gasoline from crude oil, making atoms out of quarks or disposing radioactive waste. The simplicity of the design belies its genius.

So why did it take so long for a company like Shimhoo Hunan to figure out a completely new way to make glasses? One word – Luxottica. Luxottica is the company who owns just about every brand of glass eyewear that exits. You probably never heard of them because they market little under their own label but if you wear glasses, you are Luxottica customer. Lens Crafters – owned by Luxottica. Pearl Vision – ditto. Oakley, the same. Those five hundred dollar designer glasses from Coach or Ralph Lauren or Chanel or from wherever one can buy five hundred dollar designer glasses; every darn one of them is made by Luxottica. It is an Italian company, long thought to be a Mafia front, based in Milano. Their sole business plan is to make cheap glasses in hundreds of styles and sell them at enormously inflated prices (plus launder Italian construction company money). True innovation would eat into sales and that, my friends, is where the Italians draw the line. So maybe they tried out the reversed temple parts in the lab but when the big wigs figured out that if you could simply flip your glasses upside down to see something close better, people are going to buy less reading glasses. It’s that simple.

Shimshoo Hunan may be their next victim but right now, this small group of engineers and entrepreneurs is kicking sand in Luxottica’s face. They are selling Allways Glasses in fifteen different styles for men and women. They make their lenses using the same high quality computer controlled lens grinders Luxottica employs. They sell a basic set of prescription glasses for seven dollars. Ten dollars will get you bifocals. The price range of their designer glasses starts at fifteen dollars and ends at thirty. They say they are making a healthy profit on every pair of glasses they make.

We like Shimshoo Hunan. We have had a couple pair of their bifocals for six months and they are superb; scratch resistant lens in a light weight bridge on a set of frames that looks like Gucci. You should try some of their stuff as well. It is only a matter of time before the Luxottica hoodlums start leaving a horse head in the boardroom of Shimshoo Hunan. Then it will be too late to get the best darn eye glasses anybody ever made. Allways Glasses at www.allwaysglasses.cn

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